I Found It On Craigslist: detroit part 2

craigslist

For those who caught my first segment of “I Found It On Craigslist” …I have an update!!! Yes that’s right my favorite individual has more knowledge to share with us about solving the Detroit bankruptcy:

IF DETROIT IS BANKRUPT THEN WHY ARE THE LIGHTS ON IN THE DAYTIME? (Detroit)

SO I TOOK THE “PEOPLE MOVER” AND WHEN I GOT OFF AT THE RENAISSANCE CENTER , AS I WAS WALKING THROUGH THE GLASS CONNECTER TUBE ON A BRIGHT SUNNY DAY, I LOOKED AT THE CEILING AND THE LIGHTS WERE ON. THERE WAS PLENTY OF LIGHT FROM THE SUN. ALSO ,WHY DO THEY HAVE LIGHTS ON SOME STOP SIGNS IN DETROIT IN A DAYTIME ? GERMANS TRY TO SAVE MONEY THEY DONT HAVE LIGHTS AT NITE IN SOME PLACES UNLESS A PERSON IS PRESENT TO ACTIVATE A SENSOR TO TURN THEM ON. SO MANY BUILDINGS DOWNTOWN DETROIT HAVE EMPTY OFFICES ON MANY OF THEIR UPPER FLOORS , WHY NOT REDUCE THE PRICE TO A LEVEL THAT WILL ATTRACT PEOPLE TO WORK DOWNTOWN. WHY KEEP THEM EMPTY? REDUCE THE PRICE, GREATLY INCREASE THE NUMBER OF CLIENTS AND MAKE A PROFIT. I CANT WAIT UN TILL THE NEW MAYOR MIKE DUGGAN WILL TAKE THE OFFICE AND DISTRIBUTE $300 MLN AID WHERE IT BELONGS. ( FIXING ROADS, CREATING JOBS, MAKING DETROIT’S STREETS SAFE AT NITE DOWNTOWN, ETC)”

Makes perfect sense to me. And might I add the Germans are a pretty smart bunch for saving money by turning the lights out. Now from the title of this next one, I thought it was a report not a question:

WHY DRUGDEALERS LIVE IN ABANDONED HOUSES ? (Detroit City!)

ASAP TEAR UP ALL ABANDONED HOUSES AND TURN IT INTO FARMLAND . WHY DRUG DEALERS LIVE IN ABANDONED HOUSES FOR FREE ? ASAP HIRE POLICE FORCES AND SEND THOSE IDIOTS TO REHAB ! IF YOU DONT HAVE MONEY TO HIRE POLICE OFFICERS THEN USE MONEY FROM 50 000 SOLD OUT TIGERS STADIUM TICKETS, WTF ? WHY BASEBALL PLAYER MAKES $100 000 PER GAME EVEN IF THEY LOOSE, BUT A MILITARY/ FIREMEN / POLICEMEN MAKE $ 70 000 PER YEAR THIS IS BULLSHIT. THATS WHY THE GOVERNMENT IS SHUTDOWN, COS EVERYTHING IS FUCKED UP. THOSE GUYS IN UNIFORM RISK THEIR LIFE . WTF? HOW CAN A BASEBALL UNIFORM MAKE MORE MONEY THEN A MILITARY UNIFORM? DEFINITION OF UNION: UNION ITS ORGANIZATION THAT WILL MAKE SURE U NEVER GET FIRED! EVEN IF UR LAZY, THEY WILL NOT FIRE YOU , WHY? COS THEY DEDUCT FROM UR PAYCHECK FEES. DURING LUNCH TIME U CAN HAVE COFFEE WITH WHISKEY, THEY WILL STILL NOT FIRE YOU! DETROIT IS BANKRUPT COS UNIONS RUN THE WHOLE SHOW THEY TELL DEMOCRATS WHAT TO DO! PUT DRUG DEALERS TO WORK FOR MINIMUM WAGE, DO NOT GIVE THEM FOOD STAMPS. LET THEM PLANT VEGETABLES, REMOVE THEM FROM ABANDONED HOUSES! YOU MUST GO TO THOSE HOUSES ARMED, WEAR GLOVES, THEY ALL DO NEEDLES! FUCKING DRUGGIES PROBABLY CONFUSED AMERICA WITH AFRICA!”

I, for one, totally get the link between drug dealers and union workers but I’m a little sketchy on why druggies think they’re in Africa. It appears this guy has all the answers and I will be sure to bring you all the breaking news on solving the Detroit bankruptcy situation. Sleep well!